someone: i genuinely care about u and enjoy having u in my life
The Anxiety™:
WHO NEEDS SLEEP WHEN YOU HAVE A 50k WORD FANFIC ABOUT TWO IDIOTS FALLING IN LOVE
do u ever just get a sudden burst of love for someone .. like you just think about them and youre like !!!!1 YAH yes they are so cute and awesome i am so glad theyre in my life
why wear a sweater w ‘tumblr’ on it when i can embarrass myself for zero dollars and zero cents with zero shipping fees
thank god i didn’t miss this extremely important email from tumblr
What if you were friends with some weird alien and it didn’t wear any type of clothes and you just figured it didn’t come from a culture that wore clothes but then you finally visited its planet and they’re all totally dressed how would you feel
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want people to be able to tell I’m queer. Not like how I dress, not stereotypes, but like. I want to give off a queer aura. Like I walk into a room and everything becomes less straight, pencils bend and shirts become wrinkled,
Not one lie told
OH MY GOD LMAO I’M LAUGHING SO HARD
Can we all appreciate my sisters kindergarten class’ responses to what they thought the sun was made out of
god and jesus
Foam and String
Noah thinks the sun is a government conspiracy
imaginal
mrs-harold-saxon
*cracks neck* my time has come
Okay, first? Pay off all your debts. Take out a small loan and pay it off right away.
Buy several hundred vacant houses. Schedule repairs for said houses with reputable contractors and make sizable down payments in advance. Get everything in writing and hang onto those deeds.
Buy a large open parcel of land that is being auctioned for development. And when I say large, I mean LARGE.
Sink millions into paying off people’s Kickstarters / college loans / medical bills / mortgages, and give generously charity organizations. That alone will carry off a lot of money.
Once you’ve got things down to a reasonable level, say $1m, buy yourself a house, furnishings, appliances, and a dependable car. Pay everything off so that you own it free and clear. Purchase about $200k worth of something easy to liquidate (i.e. gold, gems, bonds, stocks). Put the rest onto prepaid credit cards and wait for Monday to roll around.
NOW THE FUN BEGINS.
You now have commendable credit and a shining public reputation.
Fix up and flip those houses, sell them for fair market value or below to families who need them, or create non-profit homeless shelters. (After all, it’s not like you need to “make” money, this is all running on the proceeds from the property sales.)
Sell the parcel of land to developers, or donate it to public works as a park or open space. Have them name it after you.
Retire to your fully furnished home. Liquidate your extra assets, or leave them to appreciate in value for a later date. Make Christmas epic with those gift cards. Keep the extra money in the bank and keep your day job.
And don’t worry about taxes when return time rolls around, because you’ll be able to write off several millions’ worth of charitable donations.
Basically this
This is someone who paid attention in finance class.
